Five things we are looking forward to Saturday: AFL 2019 Round Six

Eddie Langtree shares his unique take on Saturday’s games in the AFL.

Big Ladder Changes

After consecutive week long rounds of football, featuring a Saturday with only three games we get four games this Saturday and they are all good ones.  The ladder is as unpredictable as a Clive Palmer media conference and the implications of losing or winning can be huge.  The ladder will completely reverse this week and I’m predicting North will be on top by Sunday night after making up the five wins they need in one game, even though they are likely to lose.
That’s how close it is.  Very little margin for error so far this year.


The Pineapple Cup

Credit to comedian Adam Rosenbachs for the name – it’ so much better than “The Q Clash?”.  I wonder how much the marketing consultant charged for that little nugget of genius.  AFL: “Let’s find something that will both unite and tear the teams apart.  Something that will ignite passion and parochialism – but not too much booing.”Marketing Consultant: “I’ll come back to you with an expensive and time consuming proposal”.
Three weeks and $74,000 later.Marketing Consultant (speaking slowly as if explaining string theory to alpaca): Both teams come from Queensland and the first letter of “Queensland is Q so we will call it the (clicks mouse so big Powerpoint slide comes up) Q CLASH!
After a mild smattering of applause and some knowledgeable nods around the table, the invoice is stamped – approved for payment.This will be a good game.  Does Touk Miller go to Zorko or is Neale the bigger threat.  It’s much more fun when he goes to Zorko – please send him to Zorko.
Suns for me, Brisbane back to earth with a thud and losing Andrews is big.


St Kilda Ascension

The bubble is getting bigger and bigger.  Looking at the list, it doesn’t look great but Alan Richardson and Simon Lethlean, in tyring to convince the world that the Saints are the fittest team in the competition, may have also convinced the team.
On top of that there is some sort of macabre fascination seeing just how bad Adelaide can get with a really good list.  The Crows were up and about against Gold Coast and when they get on a roll they are hard to stop.  Are they the flat track bullies of AFL 2019?  I suppose if you’re going to be a flat track bully, you need to beat the bottom team which Adelaide didn’t.
It’s hard to get a line on the Saints.  Their biggest scalp this year is arguably Melbourne who aren’t looking great this year, but the Saints can’t do more than beat whoever the AFL rolls out and winning form is good form, so we’ll stick with the boys from Moorabbin on this one.


The Funnelweb Face Off 

“The Battle of the Bridge?”  Who comes up with these lame names.  Well if you didn’t read the review of the Pineapple Cup, you won’t know. 
Sydney is home to many things but the most famous, frightening and nasty of all is Alan Jones, wait, no – I mean the funnelweb spider.  Have you seen one of those things, they’re huge, and they come at you with venom dripping from centimetre long fangs.  I saw a documentary on them and a guy got bitten on the leg and he described it as like being stabbed with a soldering iron.  Nope, nope, nope. So we’ll go with The Funnelweb Face Off. Still lame but less lame than the Battle of the Bridge.
Anyway, back to the football – GWS will be smarting after dropping a home game to the Dockers.  Sydney conversely reminds me of siphoning a petrol tank – you want it to start but you keep sucking and getting mouthfuls of petrol but the flow won’t start, and nothing is starting at the Swans.  They’re even putting up their coach as trade bait.  Talk is the might swap with North Melbourne – out of the frypan into the fire.
GWS to win.


Dockers up and about

This could be bad for the Doggies.  Fremantle, fresh off a drubbing of top four fancies GWS, will be looking to consolidate their spot in the eight and the Bulldogs are not looking threatening.  Despite their strong midfield and good young talls, the second layer at the Kennel is not deep and Fremantle will exploit this. 
Fremantle’s already dangerous forward line has been enhanced by the form of Matt Taberner who’s marking has always been good and now his kicking is coming on board too.  McCarthy comes back, Hogan is there, Lobb resting and quality smalls in Matera and Walters.  Even if they do swing Naughton back, it’s too deep if the Dockers are on.  Of course there is always the possibility that Freo won’t be on.
Nonetheless Freo by 40+


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