Footy Beards: A World Beard Day Special

An ode to AFL Beards to celebrate World Beard Day.

Footy Beards.

Now, Aussie football’s had some greats.

Some of which, I’d like to share.

We have had some bloody bewdies,

In regards to facial hair.

Back at the start there was Tom Wills.

It’s his game some people say.

But I only remember him,

For the beard he grew that way.

There’s a bearded man from Carlton,

You’ll remember as Bruce Doull…

And God could take away his head hair,

But his beard? No god’s that cruel.

Garry Baker for the Demons,

Had a fairly decent face.

The history of footy beards,

Has saved him a special place.

A beard adorned the man, Jim Jess.

(Kelvin Moore remembers most.)

This winning beard kicked winning goals,

And a hero was ‘The Ghost!’

A pretty decent face of fur,

Was grown by Simon Madden.

A beard that’s magical, just like…

The genie from Alladin.

And Shane O’Bree grew quite the beard,

And Jimmy Bartell did too.

The goatee Akermanis had?

Well, I guess that it’ll do.

If Tony Lockett had a beard,

There woulda been big trouble.

O’er thirteen hundred goals you say?

With facial hair, that’s double!

These days are good for footy beards.

There are plenty runnin’ ‘round.

It’s good beards are represented,

And that some are quite renowned.

‘Cause Port Adelaide have Paddy,

Dixon, Westhoff, even Gray.

If a few more blokes would grow one,

They would find a winning way.

There’s always beards down at Geelong,

From Zach Touhy to Max Rooke.

There’ll always be beard/footy fans,

That’ll come down for a look.

And Josh Kennedy kicks straighter,

With a beard can kick a bag.

The Lions don’t have proper beards,

So they cannot win the flag.

Bachar Houli has a good’un.

Vlastuin’s beard is pretty good.

Has Buckley got a beard again?

Is it good for Collingwood?

Max and Brodie’s ruckman battle,

At times, looks like it is drawn.

But Maxxy wins the beard at least,

Because Grundy’s beard is Gawn!

So, next year, they should change the rule,

And the six, six, six should be…

At least six beards, at least six mo’s.

‘Cause that’s what we wanna see!


Can’t get enough Footy Beards be sure to check out our Top Five Footy Beards of 2018 here or our ode to Sporting Beards from 2017 here.

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