AFL 2020: Grand Final Drinking Game

Just when you thought that 2020 hadn’t been bad enough, unless you barrack for either team, a Richmond v Geelong Grand Final is just about the icing on the cake. With that in mind, while the fans of the competing teams endure three hours of agony watching their teams compete for the ultimate prize, for everybody else we give you this drinking game to make it all a little bit more bearable.

THE RULES

1. Opening Bounce = One Drink – Let’s get this party started.
2. Anytime they pan to Gil McLachlan in the crowd = One Drink.
3. Anytime it’s mentioned that it’s Patrick Dangerfield’s first Grand Final = One Drink after yelling at the screen “tell us something we don’t know.”
4. Anytime it’s mentioned that Noah Balta is the only Tiger not to have played in a premiership = One Drink.
5. Anytime the centre bounce is recalled = One Drink and yell “You had one job”.
6. Anytime BT or any member of the commentary team uses the phrase ‘foot candy’ = One Drink.
7. Anytime Bruce asks a rhetorical question = one drink after telling nobody in particular that “it’d be wrong not to, wouldn’t it.”
8. Anytime they pan to Ash Barty looking nervous in the grand stand = one drink.
9. Anytime they pan to a celebrating Ash Barty in the Grand Stand = finish your drink.
10. Anytime they mention that it is Gary Ablett’s last game = One Drink after raising your glass to “the Gold Coast Champion”.
11. Whenever there is a score review called = Drink until the review, or your drink, is completed whichever comes first.
12. Anytime dewy conditions are used to explain a poor passage of play = One Drink after yelling at the screen “that’s what happens when you play the game at night!”
13. Whenever they pan to somebody at the crowd drinking beer = cry into your drink wishing you were allowed to drink beer outside. (More an involuntary response for those in Victoria than a rule really)
14. Whenever Tom Lynch or Tom Hawkins kicks a goal = One Drink.
15. Whenever Dylan Grimes or Harry Taylor kicks a goal = Finish your drink.
16. Whenever Hodgey gives his opinion on a free kick or contentious decision = One Drink after yelling “Who cares Hodgey?”.
17. When Dustin Marin delivers a ‘don’t argue’ = One Drink. If he is tackled or penalised after doing so = Finish your drink.
18. Whenever it is mentioned that Marlion Pickett made his debut in last years Grand Final = One Drink.
19. If the commentary team goes 10 minutes without mentioning that it’s the first AFL Grand Final played outside of Victoria = Finish your drink.
20. If there is a free kick payed against Jack Reiwoldt or Joel Selwood and you don’t see him complain to the umpire – You’ve had enough and your eyes are playing tricks on you. There has never been a free kick payed against Jack Riewoldt or Joel Selwood that they haven’t complained about.

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