Top Five AFL Beards: A World Beard Day Special

World Beard Day is coming soon

Saturday, September 1st is World Beard Day and what a perfect time for it! The day before Father’s Day and at the end of an AFL regular season that finished with some results nobody thought possible at the start of the year. While some supporters are happy and some are sad, there is one thing they can appreciate regardless of mood is…

A GREAT, BIG, HEALTHY BEARD!!

I have one. Maybe not quite as long as I’d like but fairly substantial all the same and as a result there I would like to congratulate the following AFL players:

  1. Those with a beard.
  2. Those who have had a beard.
  3. Those who are growing a beard.

The beautiful thing is, as long as you’re not shaving, you’re growing a beard! No matter how your season has ended thus far, just having a beard makes you a winner. Not of premierships, maybe, but perhaps something more, something bigger than footy. Something… MAN. (Sorry ladies, if you have a beard you are proud of, be sure to send us a pic and we’ll retract that one.)

I have taken it upon myself to rate the best beards in the AFL this year with a few special mentions of past beards. If you agree or disagree, let me know. If your beard is bigger and bushier than mine, I might even pay attention. A quick mention of the beard of Nathan Buckley. Notice the Pies lost immediately after a late season shave? I think we all know why.


Some Beards of the Past…

O'Bree

 

Shane O’Bree

While this beard had only a short career early in the millennium, it was good while it lasted. I remember the drop in output from O’bree when the beard was removed. It wasn’t a wizardly beard but it was bushy and black where it mattered. It’s a wasted chin these days. So much potential lying dormant.

At its peak 7/10

 


Bartel

Jimmy Bartel

For a beard that sprung up almost overnight it was quite impressive. It was allegedly for a good cause but I reckon that might have been an excuse for James, no longer being able to deny his chin the freedom it deserved.

He should have a beard again! – 7/10

 


Those who used their chins for good

There are many beards that come and go throughout an AFL player’s life, career and even season. I disagree with shaving but some blokes are young and stupid, not knowing that the majesty of their beard should remain a beacon of hope to those less fortunate…or too young.

Here are a few players I spotted using their chins for good throughout 2018…

There are more but if they’re not going to try growing their beard with more enthusiasm, why should I mention them? It’s time to get down to business, it’s time for…


Jai’s Top 5

(During the year of 2018 These beards at their peak whether or not they still remain on duty)

5. Vlaustin

5. Nick Vlastuin

This beard stands out against the yellow and black but I feel Nick isn’t growing as much as he could. Hint, hint…

6.5/10


4. Westhoff

4. Justin Westhoff

A consistent beard that you can rely on. Lurking in Port’s forward line waiting to strike. One of the reasons Port fans go to watch the footy!

7.5/10


3. Shofield

3. Will Schofield

Whilst only seen on ten occasions this year this beard is mighty when it wants to be. Can play at any length but the fans like it more when longer. Will rival the biggest beards in the game at its best.  8/10


2. Houli

2. Bachar Houli

A solid appearance from a solid beard. Week in and week out you can trust that this beard will be the best it can be.

8.5/10


1. Gawn

1. Max Gawn

A big beard for a big man!

If this beard was on a normal sized man it would be belly button length at least. (The same problem I’m having with my beard) Notice how the best beard adorns one of the best in the game?

Keep it growing Max!

9/10

 


You may have noticed that nobody on my list achieved a perfect 10. Well, to show you why – here is my definition of a 10/10 beard…

Beards
These blokes should probably just play AFL on the strength of their beards

Understand now? I thought so.

Who has/had the best beard in your team this year or ever??

I’d love to hear about who you think has worn the greatest beards of AFL/VFL history!


Love beards? Ofcourse you do! Love Jai talking about beards? Who doesn’t? Check out his book My Beard which you can find on Amazon via the link below.


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