Collingwood Commentary: Naive Optimism

Eddie tells us why he remains optimistic despite the Pies recent run of outs.

Sorry I was AWOL last week. I actually haven’t seen either of the last two games which makes my column even less informative than it usually is. I’m certainly not as jaded and broken hearted as you lot. I mean after watching GWS take the four points in the first quarter two weeks ago and then the umps take them in the first quarter on Friday night, anyone would be suicidal. Instead I’m filled with a naive sense of optimism, like Max Von Sydow in The Exorcist who thinks saying a few “Our Fathers” would stop Linda Blair’s head doing 180s while spewing green bile – like a human vomit sprinkler ….

What everyone has failed to mention is that Collingwood had to travel interstate twice in two weeks. Name me one team in the AFL that has ever had to do that. It’s just unfair and shows how biased the fixture is toward interstate clubs who get to travel more often and hence get used to it. It seems the AFL has forgotten it was once the VFL.

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Gold Coast makes the trip down to Melbourne this week and are on something of a roll after being competitive against Carlton and Essendon in the past fortnight. It will be interesting to see how former team mates Brody Grundy and Jarrod Witts go in the ruck. Grundy is slowing down a little, possibly due the weight he is carrying. Witts has been solid for Gold Coast all year and is an even bigger body than Grundy.

OK, to the elephant in the room – Collingwood changed Strength and Conditioning managers in the off season after a terrible season for injuries. They opted for the relatively inexperienced Kevin White and if this form line continues, he might be looked at too. Maybe it’s just bad luck. Even the kid we got in the mid season draft got injured. I won’t type the list, it’s too depressing. There are from all reports 29 fit players to choose from and that includes half the media team who have be granted permits from Uni Blacks reserves. We might be lucky, GC may have spent a few petrol tickets against the Bombers and burnt a few carbon credits on the flight down. Maybe they can stick Witts in Row 29 by the toilet in the seats that don’t recline – and he’ll get stuck there, and won’t make it to the game. That might just be enough.

Pies by seven points.

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